Field Applesauce

Today I sat in a field and drank applesauce because I didn't have a spoon. It was fun.

Something I've learned about myself is that I have a hard time focusing. I knew this before I started my senior project, but OH MY GOD I AM HORRIBLE. I can sit around and think of things for hours upon hours, but when it comes to writing things down, I do it, but very slowly and not well.

I made myself promise I would have 5 full stories by the end of this week. I have, like, maybe half that. Not even. I don't know. I don't know what I'm doing. I'm just reading and writing and trying to do things??? But it's really difficult???

Today whilst sitting in the field I worked on something that ended up evolving into something else. I had thought I wanted to do a support group for therapists, but I couldn't really get that started. So, I started writing from the POV of a therapist who was way to dependent on the emotional stability of his clients (his name is Timothy) and then that evolved into a support group for people who are overly empathetic and have really really unfortunate jobs. As of now I have Timothy, the therapist who cares WAY too much about his patients, and Ruth, who  works at the humane society and is always devastated when the puppies leave her for a new home. Maybe I'll add a cop who feels sorry for the people who he arrests because he knows a lot of them have tough living situations and if they were in different circumstances they wouldn't be this "bad".

I tried to work on the language story, but I don't know how to start it/introduce the concept. Do I start with really simple language and then get more complex as my character (Roger/Nicholas/maybe it's a girl??) becomes more aware? How the effnut do I introduce the concept without blatantly being like "in this world you get a ration of words per year." HOW. I think I need to read Einstein's dream's first.

Some of you (though I doubt there's any one reading this) may be wondering about the survey. I scraped that. I think I am going to rely on my own brain for now. I seem to have enough ideas so far. The problem is getting them down on paper and having the paper say what I want it to say.

I was in a field today because I felt stuck in my space. I need to have less stuff/move around more. Being outside was amazing. The college counseling is probably not the best move unless I am in a room with the door shut. I should probably spend more time at home as school is terrible. I enjoy my classes, but oh my god being in that building when there are only like 15 days left MAKES NO SENSE. WHY IS THERE SCHOOL. I'm slightly irritated by that.

I love this project, but I also feel like I've been neglecting everything/everyone else. So, if you're in GEC, Speech and Debate, Creative Writing, Spectrum, or just in my life and you feel ignored, I'm sorry. It's not you, it's me.