Final Reflection

FINAL REFLECTION PT 1:

In this project, I wanted to create 4 short stories that totaled up to 20 pages. I wanted to have a reading component of the project in which I reflected on the stories that most greatly influenced my writing. I did that.

FINAL REFLECTION PT 2:

April 9: Field applesauce day. That day I learned to just push through and keep writing even when I was stuck.
April 13: First actual idea day. This was a good day.
I don't have a lot of defining moments in this project. Everything was kind of level.

FINAL REFLECTION PT 3:

Since I was a freshman, I knew I wanted to do a senior project. The idea of being able to pursue one of my passions for a whole month without taking math seemed like the dream. And it was for the most part. When I was a freshman, all I saw in regards to senior projects was the freedom that went with it, not the work. And there was a lot of work. I started this project thinking that it would be kind of a breeze. I would be writing and having fun every day. The work wouldn’t be hard for me because I loved it so much. Lies. This was freaking hard.

Don’t get me wrong, I still love to write, but writing all the time is really difficult. First of all, thinking of what to write. I wasn’t short on ideas, but finding the right idea that I can flesh out into a full-blown story was almost impossible. Sometimes I would know exactly what I wanted to say, but I wouldn’t have the words. I got stuck like that a lot. Then I would have to stop writing and start reading. The most helpful thing for me to do to become inspired was to read other short stories. That was never a burden, because I love to read, so that was the most enjoyable part of the project.

After I found an idea that could actually turn into a story and not just torture me forever, I would keep writing until I just could not write anymore. Then I would type that version up on the computer, make edits while typing it up, print that out, write all over the printed copy, then type that up, and repeat. I did that at least a million times for all my stories. Sometimes, after all of that, I would throw out what I had written and not use it. Sometimes I would finish a story, then get a better idea of what to do with it and write it again. It wasn’t a very reliable process. Inspiration is a fickle thing. There were days when I wrote absolute crap, and then days when was a freaking genius.

This project taught me a lot about how I work. I have to set goals for myself otherwise I’ll just noodle about. I also realized that I couldn’t write well about anything I don’t have a connection to. It’s impossible. A lot of my writing is emotionally fueled, so anything that isn’t just sounds so empty. This makes it a lot harder to write on a schedule though. Because “I just wasn’t feeling it” is not a valid excuse for not writing. I learned I write a lot better late at night, but then I don’t write well at all the next day. I learned I love to write so I can create my own little world, pushing me towards magical realism. I’m slowly figuring out my voice, and I’ve learned how to use different tones for different types of stories. I learned a lot and really enjoyed doing this project. I think it was one of the most formative experiences I’ve had at Lovett. I now know that I can manage myself and produce things that I’m proud of. It’s a good feeling.